


It Takes A Hell Class to Run a Dreamhouse

by sunnymari



Category: Barbie - All Media Types, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: (they return once again to adopt every sad child they see), Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Adopts Eri, Comedy, Crack, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Married Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, nobody asked for this but you're all getting it, this fic masquerades as something far more serious than it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 08:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19808545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnymari/pseuds/sunnymari
Summary: every child has a phase. eri is no exception.





	1. Chapter 1

It began, as many big things do, with something small. Innocent. Harmless.   
  
Class 1A had been charged with watching Eri for the evening. Well, it had actually been just Midoriya their homeroom teacher had trusted with his daughter, but 1A absolutely adored Eri, and 1A also adored any excuse to take a well deserved break every now and again.    
  
So the class killed two birds with one stone that fateful night. With little to do in the dorms that was age appropriate for Eri, and with Momo vehemently opposed to destroying capitalism ("Not even for the greater good?") class 1A had decided on a movie night.    
  
The only problem was finding a movie that Aizawa wouldn't skin them all alive for showing Eri. It was a struggle, but then again, this was class 1A. When weren't they struggling?   
  
"I've got it!!" Ochako shrieked, skidding into the common room. The students had gone all out with preparing the space. Blankets borrowed from dorms and a comically large amount of pillows (courtesy of Hagakure's pillow obsession) littered the space. Eri sat overwhelmed by it all by Midoriya's side.    
  
"Remind me why we couldn't put on Ghibli again?   
  
"Because Mic-Sensei would kill us if Eri watched her first Ghibli without him here."   
  
"Does anybody even have any Ghibli movies?"   
  
An awkward silence was broken with Momo's, "Well, what movie do you have, Ochako?"   
  
"A classic!" Ochako said, already putting the DVD into the machine. "Eri, you're going to love it, I promise!"    
  
The room went dark as the opening credits flew across the TV screen. Momo gasped and Bakugou groaned as soft classical music started to play. An English title appeared, all of it words Eri didn't understand.   
  
"Not this shit again, Round Face." Bakugou was immediately distracted from his distaste by Iida, who "jumped on his ass", as Bakugou would say, about cursing around impressionable young children.    
  
"Oh, Barbie! This is one of the classics, Ochako I didn't know you were also a fan!" Momo's face lit up as she beamed at Ochako's choice.    
  
Eri tilted her head as the movie transitioned from its credits. The whispering around her did nothing to distract her from the screen as Barbie began the story of Odette.   
  


* * *

Eri sat in silence as Odette's story came to a close and the final credits ended. Most of Class 1A left, some citing homework or training that needed to get done, some just heading off to bed. Only Midoriya, Aoyama, Momo, and Ochako stayed behind with her. (Ochako to collect her DVD, Momo and Aoyama to get Eri's opinion, and Midoriya because he was her babysitter.)   
  
"Eri? Eri? Hey, Eri?"   
  
She mumbled something, eyes still focused on the blank TV screen.   
  
"What was that?"    
  
"So pretty." She said, loud enough for the older children to hear. It seemed to set her off, a Midoriya-style rant flying as Eri's attention left the TV. "That thing they were doing, this--" Eri hopped up from her seat and spun on wobbly tip-toes in poor imitation of a ballerina. "It was so pretty! And their clothes! Their dresses and their hair! Could I do my hair like that? Would Mr. Aizawa and Mr. Mic let me do that? And Lila! She had a horn like me!"    
  
The group blinked in tandem as they processed the wall of words Eri had thrown at them. None of them had seen her this excited since the Cultural Festival. "So...you liked it Eri?!" Ochako beamed.   
  
Eri calmed down a few notches and nodded.    
  
"Yes!" Ochako punched the air celebration. Momo squealed in delight, and Midoriya grinned his big goofy smile. Aoyama puffed out his chest, exclaiming, "The magic of Barbie~" in all his usual dramatic flair.   
  
"Are--" Eri gulped as the group's attention focused back on her. "Are there more?"   
  


* * *

Yuuga Aoyama, it turned out, was an avid Barbie fan, having watched the movies with his older sisters as children. While his sisters had grown and lost interest in the Barbie franchise, he hadn't. He'd brought his absolute favorite movies from his collection to the Yuuei dorms with him, and had no issue with bringing them down for Eri.   
  
It was almost as if there was a completely different girl with them. She bounced impatiently as the second DVD was put into the machine, then the third, and then after that the fourth. Eri had adored the  _ Magic of the Pegasus _ , and the  _ Twelve Dancing Princesses _ , and while she'd fallen asleep right at the end, she'd loved  _ Princess Charm School _ as well. Aoyama packed some of the others up for her; He had the feeling a phase was beginning, and besides, Aoyama was always down to bring someone new into the BCU (Barbie Cinematic Universe).    
  
Ulterior motives aside, Eri had been so cute and she had seemed so excited to watch Barbie conquer the forces of evil, how could anyone resist? She usually had such sad eyes, so anything Aoyama could do to make her happy, he would.   
  
"Oooh, Aoyama you've been holding out on us!" Ochako was rifling through his collection, Momo not-so-discreetly peeking over her shoulders. Ochako held up  _ Princess and The Pauper _ and  _ The Island Princess _ and made an impressed noise. "You have good taste in movies, Aoyama."   
  
"Merci, mon amie*." Aoyama wavered; would la petite fille** prefer the  _ Fairytopia _ series or the  _ Mermaid Tale _ movies? Midoriya would probably know, but he was all the way downstairs keeping watch over Eri until her Pere*** came to collect her. "Although, I must confess, I didn't know the two of you were Barbie fans." He discarded both series and put in Barbie's take on  _ Rapunzel _ instead.   
  
"Er--it was such a huge part of my childhood, you know?" Ochako set both movies back into their places. She rubbed the back of her neck as she continued to answer. "My parents didn't have the money to spend on the toys, but whenever it was Movie Night, Daddy would take me to rent any one of the Barbie movies I wanted, and when we got home, Mom would've the living room set up. I'd usually fall asleep halfway through the movie, but I loved Movie Nights growing up, because it was then that I was able to see both of my parents happy."   
  
"So it's nostalgia for you?"    
  
"Mhmm.  _ Swan Lake _ was the only movie I ever, like, owned you know? I got it for a birthday when I was little, and that Christmas Mom and Daddy saved up to get me an Odette doll." Ochako smiled at the memories. "I loved her so much."   
  
"My first Barbie was Clara from the Nutcracker movie Mattel did," Momo pitched in. "I loved the movies growing up, because of the messages they sent. And even though most of the leads ended up with the love interest, it really felt like there was something more there. I loved that as a little girl."   
  
" _ Nutcracker _ was your favorite?"   
  
"Yes and no? I prefered the Princess movies. You know, the  _ Twelve Dancing Princesses _ ,  _ Princess and The Pauper _ , those were my favorites."   
  
A gleam came into Ochako's eyes. " _ I'm just like you~ _ " She sang. Momo started to giggle. " _ You're just like me~" _ Ochako grinned and fingergunned Momo into singing along with her.   
  
Aoyama's phone made a noise at that moment, and he turned it to see " _ deku uwu: sensei's here. you still coming down to give him the movies?? _ " flash across his phone screen. Leaving the two girls to sing alone, Aoyama grabbed his box and made his way downstairs.   
  
Aizawa had Eri in his arms when Aoyama reached the first floor. "Sensei~" Aoyama called to get his attention. He held up his box. "A present for la petite fille," Aoyama nodded to Eri’s sleeping form. "I will be needing them back, but I believe you and Mic-sensei will find them very useful. Au revoir****!" Aoyama shoved the box into Aizawa's spare hand, and left the onesided conversation as quickly as he'd come before Aizawa could protest, or, god forbid, ask questions.


	2. Press F

The morning after they'd let Class 1A babysit started relatively normal. It was Sunday, so neither Shouta Aizawa or Hizashi Yamada had school work, and on this day in particular, neither of them had any patrolling to do. As Hizashi loved to say, their day would be chill until Hizashi had to leave for the station.

It wasn't until the three of them were sat at the breakfast table that the two husbands realized that 1A had done something, once again.

"Eri! Hey kiddo, how'd it go last night with your 1A friends? They really tired you out!"

Eri brightened in her seat. "We watched movies!"

"Really?"

"Mhmm. One of them had a horn like me!"

Her fathers blinked at each other. One of the movies...had a horn? "Eri, sweetheart," Shouta began. "Do you mean a character in the movies had a horn?"

Eri nodded enthusiastically. "Uh-huh, and her name was Lila! She was a horn pony!"

"Horn pony?"

"A un. a unihorn?"

"Unicorn, Eri?"

"Yea, that! Lila was a unicorn!"

"Sure sounds exciting. Was it a good movie?" Eri nodded and bounced in her seat. "It was so pretty! They had these dresses, and they were so glittery and they did this spinny thing with their tippy toes, and it was so pretty! Ms. Momo said it was ballet!"

"Ballet's pretty." Shouta was not a religious man, but he prayed that his daughter wasn't going to ask for ballet lessons. While the expenses surely wouldn't be an issue, it would likely be too dangerous for Eri to be off-campus so often in the same place. Too risky to justify it, even to his little girl.

"And that's what I said to Ms. Momo and Mr. Deku and Ms. Ochako and to Mr. Aoyama! Ms. Ochako didn't have any other B-Bar," Eri stumbled over the brand name.

Hizashi came to her rescue. "Barbie?"

Eri nodded (any more of that and her head would fall off, jeez) and continued to tell them of her night. Apparently, Aoyama hoarded Barbie movies and he'd been more than willing to share. (Shouta had a feeling he now knew what was in that box that had been shoved onto him the night before.) His daughter went quiet and took a bite of her breakfast. As she chewed, Shouta and Hizashi shared a Look. Eri had that Look on her face, the one she got when she wanted something. Eri was a quiet kid, struggling with anxiety that had resulted from her time before she'd passed into the care of the Aizawa-Yamada household. She didn't always vocalize her needs and wants, so her fathers had learned a way to see what she needed without words. ...And she wanted something.

“Eri? Sweetheart, you're awfully quiet over there. What else happened last night?” Hizashi probbed gently. Shouta watched as Eri tried to figure out what to say. Whatever it was she wanted, his little girl wanted it pretty badly.

Daughter dearest finally threw them an angle to work with. “Ms. Ochako brought down her Odette doll. And Ms. Momo didn't have her dolls, but she told us stories, and it sounded so fun! Ms. Ochako let me hold her Odette, and her hair was so soft and pretty!” Bingo. Shouta and Hizashi shared another look as Eri rambled on about Barbie dolls. All they had to do now was find Eri a doll.

Easy.

How complicated could that be?

\--

As it turned out, buying a Barbie was very, very, very complicated. Too complicated. (Especially when factoring in the accessories, holy shit.)

Shouta was all for heading down to Daiso* and buying Eri a doll there, but Hizashi protested, saying that “It's her first doll Shou, it has to be special!” whatever the hell that meant. He was sure that they could get Eri the cheapest, most off brand Barbie known to man and she would still love the damn thing to death.

But Hizashi was dead set on making Eri's first doll special. Shouta had learned long ago that there was nothing he could do to stop Hizashi when he got like this. All he could do now was mitigate the damage. And hopefully get Hizashi to not spend an entire paycheck on spoiling their daughter, as tempting as it was to let him.

**Author's Note:**

> wtf is aoyama saying??
> 
> merci, mon amie* = thank you, my friend  
> la petite fille** = the little girl  
> pere*** = father  
> au revoir**** = goodbye


End file.
